"I've got a bad feeling about this"
"When was the last time you felt good about anything"
"Soldiers, Sailors and ballers of the Allied Expeditionary basketball Forces:
You are about to embark upon the Great Crusade, toward which we have striven these many months. The eyes of the world are upon you. The hopes and prayers of basketball-loving people everywhere alley oop with you.
Your task will not be an easy one. Your enemy is well trained, well equipped and battle-hardened. He will ball savagely.
But this is the year 2016. Much has happened since Kobe announced retirement. The Lakers have inflicted upon the enemy great defeats, in open battle, man-to-man. Our 3pt offensive has seriously reduced their strength in the bucket and their capacity to run fast breaks. Our Home Fronts have given us an overwhelming superiority in weapons and munitions of war, and placed at our disposal great reserves of trained fighting men. The tide has turned. The free men of the world are marching together to victory.
I have full confidence in your courage, devotion to duty, and skill in battle. We will accept nothing less than full victory.
Good Luck! And let us all beseech the blessing of Almighty God upon this great and noble undertaking.” D.D. Eisenhower